I hope I can just blame this on the Holidays, but it does get at one of my fears: that my practice consistency unravels when I'm away from the shala for extended periods of time. Related to this, I've noticed a certain…stubbornness on my part in giving up things which impact my practice, even when I am being consistent. Don't get me wrong, over the past couple of years, I've watched my schedule become rearranged to accommodate the yoga. My eating schedule and food choices are based around fueling the practice, and friends know which nights not to ask me to hang out. Other things I hold onto- staying up late, drinking (not overboard, but it still has an effect), and taxing my body in other ways which inhibit the practice (hiking, biking). Sometimes I rationalize and tell myself that I have too much work to do- no time for practice. I want it all: SuptaK, the ability to enjoy glasses of wine on the porch, fluid backbends, professional success with nights of peaceful sleep, backpacking in the mountains- tight hamstrings and hips, be damned.
David Robson recently wrote about how his sadhana, or discipline in pursuit of a goal, is "taking over [his] life." That the maintenance of a daily practice requires making choices which limit our own freedom. And this from David Garrigues, a beautiful essay in which he describes choosing between "the surfing dream" and "the yoga dream," eventually discovering that "IF YOU WANT BOTH, YOU'LL HAVE NEITHER." It is up to us to decide between the things that should stay and the things that should go, but we can't have it all.
Initially, I thought about making some sort of New Year's